Are you “emotionally independent”?

Last week on our call we talked about women who were raised in homes with Mothers who are considered Emotionally Unavailable. And being the curious person that I am, I started researching and came across a term that I didn’t even know existed, but as soon as I heard it, it felt like it described so many of the incredible women I know, including you.

The term is Emotionally Independent, and it’s all about being strong, self-reliant, and handling your emotions on your own. At first, I thought, “Wow, this sounds like me!”—and maybe it sounds like you too. So, I did a little digging to understand what this really means, and I couldn’t wait to share it with you. Here’s what I’ve learned:

What is Emotionally Independent?

Emotionally independent women are the ones who rely on their inner strength to get through life’s toughest moments. They don’t often ask for help because they’ve learned to handle their own emotions, and they usually keep their feelings to themselves. Sound familiar?

For a lot of us, this comes from life experiences—maybe we’ve had to take care of ourselves early on, or we’ve been let down by people who should’ve been there for us. So, we became emotionally independent, thinking that relying on ourselves is the best way to stay strong.

How Emotionally Independent Women Grieve:

1. We hold it down on our own: Even in the hardest moments, like losing someone we love, we try to carry it alone. We don’t want to burden others, so we keep our pain inside.
2. We keep busy to distract ourselves: Instead of sitting with our grief, we stay on the move—working, running errands, or taking on new projects. It feels easier than facing the emotions head-on.
3. We hold back tears in front of others: Crying or showing our vulnerability doesn’t always come easy. We’ve learned to put on a strong face, even when it feels like we’re breaking inside.
4. We don’t ask for help: Asking for emotional support is hard. Even when we’re struggling, we feel like we should manage on our own because that’s what we’ve always done.
5. We focus on taking care of others: When things get tough, we often channel our energy into being strong for the people around us—our family, our friends—because it’s easier to focus on them than face our own grief.

But Here’s What I Didn’t Realize…

While being emotionally independent can feel empowering, it can also come with some risks. We might end up feeling more isolated than we need to. Sometimes, not sharing our emotions makes the pain even heavier. And though we’re strong, even the strongest among us deserve support and healing.

I wanted to share this with you because if you’ve been navigating grief or hard times on your own, I want you to know that you don’t have to do it alone. There’s strength in leaning on others too. And, most importantly, there’s no shame in it.

If any of this sounds like you, I want you to know I’m here. And I’m working on creating a space where we can all come together, share our stories, and support each other. No matter where you are in your journey, we can figure it out together.

Sending you love, understanding, and a reminder that you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.